Abigail Christina Marie

My gorgeous little girl, Abigail Christina Marie, is here. She was born on April 7th, 2010. Right on the day her Nanny predicted she would come! My labor was amazing and the greatest experience. I went to the doctor that day and my cervix was thick and closed. They decided I needed to come in and be induced that night because of how low my fluid was. So I went home and settled the kids, Jay and I went to the mall for my last minute cravings of every food there was, and then headed to the hospital. By the time I got to the hospital I had dilated 2cm and effaced to 70% I was in labor on my own anyway! But even though I progressed overnight to 5cm on my own they decided to start pitocin at 5am. To that point I was slightly uncomfortable but nothnig i couldnt handle. They started that pitocin and it felt like someone was just ripping my body open from one end to the other! It was so so painful. I asked for the epidural but the doctor was busy so I just sat and waited, was mean to poor Jay haha! Finally the doctor shows up at 7am. My contractions were less than a minute apart and extremely strong so it took him half an hour to finish the epidural. By 730 it was in and aroung 745 I started to feel some relief from it. I still felt the contractions but they werent nearly as strong. Well not even a half our later I started to feel so much pressure it made me want to just curl up in a ball and die. I told Jay that I thought i should push. He didnt really know what to think because I had just had the epidural and been checked and I was only at 8cm. But Dr. Shockley came back in anyway and as soon as I out my feet in the stirrups he said "Well she has daddys hair!" While he was getting into his gown and everything he said I could push because it was bothering me so bad and I guess he wasnt expecting it because he had to rush across the room, but Miss Abigail made her appearance on that very first push, no problems at all. I pushed hard though because I wanted that baby out! Jay could not have looked happier or more proud than the moment he saw his daughter for the very first time. It was one of the most amazing days of my life. She weighed 5lb. 9oz. and was 19.5 inches long.

It has now been almost a month, and that tiny little thing is still so tiny! Shes so beautiful and such a happy baby girl. She looks around at everything like she just cant believe it with these enormous dark dark eyes. Shes got long legs and arms and fingers and toes and they are all super skinny. She has this silly little cry that makes mesmile more than feel bad for her actually. I just love her and I am amazed by her every single second.

Year...One

In 4 days my little baby boy is going to be an entire year old. I didn't really think it would be a big deal to me because he just seems so big already, and I have another little on on the way to fill that sad place I have had for a tiny baby. But I'm almost heartbroken over it! I don't want my little baby to get older. He's already walking on his own, helping me put his clothes on, really close to actual words when he talks. He feeds himself and has no trouble putting himself to sleep. Soon he won't need me! And then Abi will be getting older too and pretty soon she won't need me! Then what will I do?=(

This year with his has been amazing though. I never realized just how much you could love one tiny little person. I used to just sit and stare at him while he slept. I wanted to hold him every minute of the day. I've enjoyed being his mother so much in this last year and I really am looking forward to being by his side through everything. He's an incredible person. He's got this huge personality, he's friendly and cuddly. He loves to play games and dance to music and read books. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't and can be very stubborn on that point sometimes. But I just am amazed everyday by him. It is a rare moment that I am with him or Malcolm that I am not smiling. I'm a very blessed momma to have the boys that I do.

I am also very blessed to have the opportunity to have a daughter also. Doctors told me that it just wasn't going to happen. That having Collier had put too much strain on me and caused too much damage. And I was so shocked to find out so soon after having Collier that I would be having another one. I was so sad that Collier would be so little still when we had another baby. I didn't want him to miss out on anything because of a new baby and because of me being pregnant and tired. But now that its getting closer and closer to time, I feel like superwoman! And it is an incredible feeling as a mother to know that you are bringing a daughter into this world. I was so happy when I found out that I was afraid to believe it at first. I'm so glad its true though. Of course, this pregnancy is not going at all how I wanted it to, I just have to endure a few more weeks of this to get to hold my baby daughter. And there is nothing better to me than bringing a life into this world!

I need a vacation...

Well first of all my day started out horrible. I get a phone call from Malcolms school at 8am, and I won't go into detail, but I was completely PISSED. OMG! So I get out of bed after that amazing conversation and Jay is about to lose it he's so upset, and I go to get Collier out of bed. We have a really good time together. He danced around the kitchen while I made pancakes, and then he ate a giant pancake the size of my face! I layed him down and cleaned up and finally got my shower in for the day, which was the most relaxed I have been all day by the way! So I get to the doctor and I go in for my ultrasound. The woman spends forever before she will say anything, and then all she does is ask me what I'm drinking? And I'm thinking, "Obviously lady, if I have known about having low fluid for weeks now, I am drowning myself in water!" But I was nice and sweet because its not her fault I am having a bad day. So then I find out that my fluid level has gone down almost 3cm since I was there last tuesday! WTF! And no one can tell me any reason why it's happening. I'm freaking out. And Dr. Shockley is a great doctor, but I'm starting to worry about my baby and why he isn't trying to do anything. But then after all that in one day I have to come to work. And I find out my sister is in the hospital with a kidney stone, so I'll be staying over once again in the morning! UGH! I just need a mini vacation I think. And unfortunately that will not be happening until I have Abi and I spend two days in the hospital. Hah!

Excuse me, snow?

You could go away anytime and that would be fine with me! I'm so ready to have this little baby girl and get my kids outside playing. We finally have a yard and all we get to do is sit around inside wondering when we'll be able to dig our way out of the driveway! Malcolm will only go out in the snow for about 5 minutes before the snow "burns" his legs. Haha. But in all seriousness, I am sick of being stuck inside this house on my days off. What on earth is there to do at home all day long? Collier probably forgets what the sunshine looks like!

In other news. I've been having contractions for days now. They gave me some medicine that is supposed to be helping, but I hate to say that its not. I wake up every night from one and my belly is starting to get sore. I have pain medicine but it makes me groggy and silly and I have little boys to take care of and a job to go to! What on earth is a Momma supposed to do?

We still haven't even gotten Abi's crib, or anything really, set up in her room. It was sort of the storage room when we first moved in and now I'm at a loss as to where to put everything. I'm off until Monday evening to I suppose thats what I will be doing since I doubt I'll be making it out anywhere today! I'll post some pictures when it's finally done.

A little bit of Cyndi...

So I was inspired by a fellow mother to begin a blog. I think as a mother it's important to share your story with others. We all have those "OMG" moments where we wonder if anyone else on the planet has ever experienced this.

Well, I personally am a working mother of two, a wife, and a student. My children are currently 5 and 11 months. Yes, I am only 20, so obviously I did not give birth to an almost 6 year old child. He's my husbands son, my stepson, but mine in every way a child belongs to a mother. His name is Malcolm and he is by far the smartest, most caring, curious, and wonderful little boy you will ever meet. Yes, he can be difficult, but at the end of the day I sit back with his daddy and laugh at all the silly things he does and says in a day. It's hard to have to share half of our time with him but it just makes the time we do have with him that much more precious. My 11 month old is Collier. (Cul-yer). He is the light of my day and never fails to put a smile on my face. He always has a smile on his face no matter what is going on. He loves his mommy and daddy and bubby. He just started walking about a month ago and so I now have my hands completely full! Oh my its hard work. He loves to talk and he absolutely loves to eat! If God had come down and told me I could pick any children in the world, I could not have picked two more amazing boys if I had tried.

I am also currently 31 weeks pregnant with our first little girl! This will more than likely be the only other child I will have, and while at first it made me sad to think of, I now know that this addition will be the final piece to the puzzle of my families life. We are going to name her Abigale and she will without a doubt be the most beautiful little girl ever! I cant wait to have a daughter to teach all the things I wish I would have known when I was growing up. I want het to pick the right man to spend her life with, to put herself first and be her own woman before she commits her life to anyone else, and to never give up on anything because she will be the brightest most wonderful child in the world and I will be by her side every step of the way. My pregnancy is considered high-risk due to complications that I had with my son that are now appearing in this pregnancy. I am unable to keep my amniotic fluid levels up, and am currently taking medication to control preterm labor. Its scary as a mother to not be able to completely protect your child even when they are growing inside you. Sometimes I feel like a failure to my daughter. After every NST, ultrasound, and exam, I wonder if there was just one thing I should have done that would make her safer and keep her inside as long as possible.

Now I also work outside of the home. For 3 years now I have cared for a 92 year old woman who has alzheimers in Marietta. Shes so much like a grandma to me now. The work is hard and 50 hour weeks are not something that I enjoy, but I'm working my way through school right now and trying to give my children the best of everything that I can. It is not that I wouldn't love to spend every minute of my time with my kids, but I believe its important as a woman to be able to support yourself in any life situation and to show your children that women are strong and independant. In April I will be a certified Phlebotomist and then I am taking a course in IV Therapy and hoping to get a set regular schedule that allows me to be home in the evenings with my family to cook them dinner, give them a bath, read them a story and put them to bed. Right now there are several days out of the week where I am gone for the entire day and it drives me completely crazy!

I was just recently married. December 28, 2009 to be exact! Yes, it sure did take us awhile. Almost 3 years! But we finally tied the know and I officially became Cynthia Sargent. I am married to Jeremy Sargent, and to me he is the most fabulous husband and father out there! Since the day I met him I have watched him overcome so much. He makes me proud everyday to have his last name. He is always surprising me with wonderful things, reassuring me through the tough times, holding me when I cry, celebrating my achievements. He is truly proud and appreciative of everything I do and what more could a woman ask for?

So thats a little introduction to Cynthia Sargent.